In my family, Thanksgiving dinner is like a competitive sport.

The winner is whoever can deflect the most personal questions without choking on a dinner roll.

Alright everyone, as I prepare to carve this magnificent turkey, I just want to remind you...

I'm the *meat-er* of ceremonies around here!

You know what they say about Thanksgiving dinner

it's a gobbler of a meal!

Why do I always feel so happy and thankful every Thanksgiving?

Because I'm truly *grate-fowl* for all of you!