Our family's Thanksgiving dinner is so unpredictable,

we've started setting the table with a fire extinguisher and a therapist's phone number.

In my family, the most competitive event at Thanksgiving isn't football or eating the most pie.

It's seeing who can fall asleep on the couch first after dinner.

Thanksgiving dinner at my house is a real test of endurance

because we don't just eat until we're full, we eat until we're separated by paramedics

Why was the cranberry sauce so good at problem-solving?

Because it always had a 'cran-do' attitude!