Why did Santa always double-check the gift tags?

He didn't want any mis-present-ations.

Why are modern Christmas carolers always a little confused when singing 'We Wish You a Merry Christmas'?

They're not sure if they should actually expect figgy pudding anymore.

Why do Christmas carolers always sound so insistent?

Because they won't leave until they get their figgy pudding!

What did the grape say when it got stepped on at the holiday party?

Nothing, it just let out a little wine and said it was having a crush-ing Christmas.