I've been dating a girl who's into ghosting, which is weird because

I'm starting to think she's just into haunt-ing me after sex.

My date told me she loved a man who could really handle his tools, get down and dirty, and wasn't afraid to get his hands on some really tough nuts.

She just needed help fixing her car engine.

My girlfriend told me she wanted me to tease her more in bed.

I said, 'Alright, but you're not getting an orgasm until you finally fix that leaky faucet.'

My ex always told me I had a head for business...

...which was confusing, because I was usually between her legs.