I told my date I was a master of seduction and could make any woman swoon.

She just laughed and said I was just a bass player.

I've been dating a girl who's a professional voice actor, and she's always doing different accents in bed

But honestly, the only one that ever comes close to the real thing is the one she uses when she's faking it

I've been dating a girl who's a master gardener, and she's always trying to get me to help her with her roots, especially the ones that are really deep and need a lot of attention.

Now our relationship is really growing, and I'm finding myself getting wrapped up in her vines.

My ex always told me I had a head for business...

...which was confusing, because I was usually between her legs.