I was making my mental grocery list the other day, and realized it wasn't just 'milk and bread' anymore.

It was 'milk, bread, remember to ask about Sarah's cat, email the dry cleaner, find a baby shower gift for Jen, and somehow also fix the entire global economy before noon.'

I've been trying to master the art of 'casual' texting with my crush

but it's hard when you've written and deleted the same 'hey, what's up?' 12 times

When my ex broke up with me, I didn't just cry.

I dramatically walked away mid-sentence, into the pouring rain, and only once I was half a block down the street did I remember my car was parked *right behind him* and I had to do a very undramatic U-turn.

My male colleague just got promoted for his 'bold vision' and 'strategic foresight.'

And I just got an email praising my 'excellent organizational skills' after I color-coded the entire department's shared drive.