When my wife and I were dating, I used to spend an hour getting ready, planning elaborate dates, and making sure I smelled just right.

Now, 'date night' usually means we're sharing a frozen pizza on the couch, and I've successfully located both socks that match.

They say that when you get married, you should always keep the spark alive.

And I'm pretty sure that spark eventually evolves into the static electricity you get from arguing over who left the lights on.

My wife and I bought a bigger house specifically for more space.

And yet, we still manage to fight over the same 10 square feet of prime couch real estate.

We all grow up dreaming of that fairy tale 'happily ever after'.

And then you realize 'happily ever after' mostly involves happily ever after deciding whose turn it is to empty the dishwasher.