What do elves learn in school?

The elf-abet

What's the real 'Polar Express' for most parents on Christmas morning?

The express trip from their bed to the coffee maker.

Why did the Christmas tree go to the doctor?

It was feeling a little knotty and wanted to get to the root of the problem!

Why did the scarecrow win an award at the Christmas party?

Because he was outstanding in his field of holiday cheer