My therapist suggested I find a hobby to de-stress.

So now I just stress about whether I'm monetizing my hobbies enough.

My doctor asked me about my long-term health plan.

I told him, 'Well, if things don't pick up, I'm just researching the best prices for my organs.'

I've been working really hard to build my personal brand.

Turns out my personal brand is just 'tired.'

My therapist told me to 'do the work' and sit with my uncomfortable feelings.

So I added them to my calendar for next Tuesday at 3 PM, right after laundry.