My CEO just told everyone, 'We're a family here!'

I immediately checked my organ donor status.

My boomer parents told me the secret to success was to 'pull myself up by my bootstraps.'

I'm still trying to find a pair of boots I can afford.

My idea of a 'starter home' is buying a large storage unit.

And just living in that.

I told my manager I was feeling burned out from all the 'optional' overtime

and they said I just needed to 'want it more' – I'm starting to think they want me to want a stress leave