My dad's idea of retail therapy...

...is walking through the hardware store, picking up random bolts and muttering, 'I'll need this someday.'

I got my dad a smart grill for Father's Day, thinking it would make him the master of the backyard

Now he just uses it to burn burgers and prove that even technology can't fix his cooking

I tried to surprise my dad with a heartfelt message for Father's Day, starting with, "Dad, I'm feeling so grateful...".

Before I could finish, he smiled and said, "Hi Grateful, I'm Dad!"

My dad said he didn't need a thing for Father's Day this year.

But then he added, 'Unless you happen to know where my *other* tape measure is. The good one.'