He said he was looking for a woman with her own ambitions, her own life, someone who 'doesn't need constant attention.'

Then he called me 'busy' because I didn't immediately respond to his 'hey' at 11:30 AM on a workday.

I've been trying to learn how to say no without apologizing,

but so far I've only mastered saying 'I'm so sorry, no' without apologizing for the apology.

I matched with a guy on a dating app whose bio said he was looking for 'someone who can keep up'.

My main hobbies are doomscrolling and wondering if I locked the front door. I think I'm gonna need a head start.

I was running late for work and spilled coffee all over my shirt

So I declared, 'It's not a stain, it's a metaphor for the chaos that is my life,' and walked into the office like I was accepting an Oscar