I'm not one to complain about minor setbacks, but the other day my coffee shop order was wrong, so

I delivered a 10-minute soliloquy about the human condition, the fleeting nature of caffeine, and the crushing despair of a misplaced creamer, all while the barista stood there, politely asking if I wanted it remade.

I took my car in for a routine oil change, but in my mind, it was a pivotal scene in my biopic

So, I monologued to the mechanic about the symbolism of dirty oil and the struggle for personal growth, and now I'm pretty sure he's rooting for me to win an Oscar

I've started to think that my wardrobe is 90% clothes I've kept because they still have the tags on

and 10% clothes I've actually worn, but I'm holding onto the tags as proof that I didn't just buy them to impress myself

He posted on Instagram about 'embracing solitude' and 'finding peace in his own company.'

Then I scrolled down and saw he’d tagged three different photographers in the last week.