My new Pilates instructor told me I need to really engage my core, get deep into my pelvic floor, and then slowly release it with control.

I'm still not sure what a 'hundreds' exercise is, but I'm getting quite good at it.

I was trying to set up my new home entertainment system last night.

My friend, who's an electrician, said I just needed to make sure all my connections were really tight.

A man and a woman walked into a bar, and the bartender looked up and said, 'What is this, some kind of joke?' The woman smiled and said they were on their first date, and the man had promised to show her a great time.

So he pulled out a condom and said, 'Let's get started on the main course.'

My career counselor said I needed to figure out how to get ahead in life.

I told her I thought I was already quite proficient at it.