I was trying to teach my kids about gardening, and we planted a small tree in our backyard. They were excited to see it grow, and we started talking about the different types of trees you can plant. I asked my kids what they thought our tree would look like in a few years, and they said

it would be a tree-mendous success!

I tried to make a belt out of watches, but it was a...

...complete waist of time.

I was driving home today and saw a car pulled over on the side of the road with a flat tire. I felt bad for the driver, it looked like they were really stressed out trying to change it.

I guess they were having a *tire-ing* day.

Why did the cat join a band?

Because it wanted to be the purr-cussionist.