My boss scheduled a 'wellness check-in' meeting,

and I nearly had a stress attack just putting it on my calendar.

My manager told me to 'embrace the chaos' as a growth opportunity.

My therapist just calls it 'a toxic work environment'.

My manager encouraged us to 'find our passion project.'

Mine is making sure I don't die at my desk.

I suggested replacing our daily stand-up meeting with a simple email update, but my manager said

that would ruin the 'synergy' of watching each other drink coffee for 15 minutes