I'm trying to adult, but my budget is a puzzle

and the only piece that fits is ramen noodles

I suggested replacing our daily stand-up meeting with a simple email update

but my manager said that would 'kill the synergy' – code for 'I love hearing myself talk'.

I've been trying to develop a growth mindset in therapy

but so far the only thing I've grown is my therapy bill

I asked my manager if I could stop coming to meetings that could've been emails, and they said

it's about 'being present' and 'synergy' – code for 'I don't trust you to actually read the email'.