My boss asked for our "personal growth goals" this quarter.

I told him mine was successfully ignoring all LinkedIn articles about "crushing it."

My therapist told me I need to stop catastrophizing.

Now I'm just catastrophizing about how bad I am at *not* catastrophizing.

My therapist asked me what my biggest fantasy was.

I told her: a 40-hour work week.

My boss scheduled a 'wellness check-in' meeting,

and I nearly had a stress attack just putting it on my calendar.