My CEO just told everyone, 'We're a family here!'

I immediately checked my organ donor status.

My therapist told me I need to embrace vulnerability.

So I immediately bought a weighted blanket so heavy I can barely move.

My boss told us, 'We're a family here.'

Then asked why I wasn't excited to work Thanksgiving.

I'm really trying to get my finances in order.

But my most expensive hobby is currently 'being alive.'