My ex told me he wanted a woman who was 'independent and strong,' someone who 'didn't need a man to take care of her.'

Turns out, he just meant he wanted someone who'd pay for her own dates and never ask him to move a heavy box.

My apartment building just installed those new high-tech package lockers where you scan a QR code to open them.

And every time I go down to get a delivery, I walk like a secret agent, dramatically scanning the code as if I'm disarming a bomb, even if it's just my subscription box of artisanal cheeses.

I just got feedback in my performance review that I need to 'soften my communication style.'

Apparently, 'Here's the problem, here's the solution, let's implement it' is now considered a hostile takeover bid.

I went on a date with a guy who said he was 'really into personal growth' and 'loves self-improvement books'

But his favorite author was his ex's therapist