Why do I always feel so happy and thankful every Thanksgiving?

Because I'm truly *grate-fowl* for all of you!

My family's Thanksgiving dinner is the one place where

the only thing we pass around the table more often than the mashed potatoes is criticism.

Why was the stuffing always so confident?

Because it knew it was the stuff of legends!

Why did the cranberry sauce go to therapy?

Because it was feeling a little jellied under the pressure!