I finally blocked out an hour for 'self-care' last night.

I spent 15 minutes trying to find the right guided meditation on YouTube, 20 minutes wondering if my face mask was expired, and the last 25 minutes stress-cleaning my bathroom before I could relax.

My apartment building just installed those new high-tech package lockers where you scan a QR code to open them.

And every time I go down to get a delivery, I walk like a secret agent, dramatically scanning the code as if I'm disarming a bomb, even if it's just my subscription box of artisanal cheeses.

I love how self-care ads always say 'take a few minutes for yourself each day'

like I can just carve out a tranquil oasis between my 3 PM meeting and 3:05 PM panic attack

I tried to do that 'messy bun' look this morning, you know, the one that's supposed to be casual and chic.

After three failed attempts, a whole lot of hairspray, and an arm cramp, I just gave up and wore a hat. That's my version of effortless.