My friend just got new bangs and asked me if they made her look younger.

I took a deep breath, calculated the optimal response time between 'immediate enthusiastic lie' and 'brutal honesty that ends a friendship,' and finally said, 'They definitely... *frame your face*!'

I bought a new dress today that actually had functional pockets.

For a split second, I felt like I'd won the lottery. Then I remembered I still had to carry my purse for all the things that wouldn't fit in those 'functional' pockets.

Guys always say they want a 'strong, independent woman' who 'knows what she wants.'

Then you actually *tell* them what you want, and suddenly you're 'intimidating' or 'too opinionated.' Pick a lane, fellas.

I'm trying to be more spontaneous in my dating life.

Last week, I spent three hours spontaneously overthinking whether I should text him back immediately or wait a strategic 23 minutes.