I've been noticing that guys on dating apps love to claim they're 'dog dads'

but their profiles only have pictures of the dog, and I'm starting to think the dog is the one swiping right

I've been trying to learn how to say no without apologizing,

but so far I've only mastered saying 'I'm so sorry, no' without apologizing for the apology.

I tried to streamline my morning routine to get that 'effortlessly chic' vibe.

Now I just spend twice as long making it look like I didn't spend any time at all.

I asked for a raise today.

My boss told me he really valued my 'team spirit' and 'positive attitude.' I'm pretty sure he just complimented me on being polite while asking for more money.