I'm at the point where I'm treating every minor setback like it's a dramatic plot twist

I just spilled coffee on my shirt and I'm pretty sure I heard a lone violin playing in the background

This guy's dating app bio said he was a 'hopeless romantic.'

Turns out, he was just hopeless at romance, because his big move was sending me a TikTok on 'how to make her obsessed with you.'

I tried meditating this morning, like my wellness app suggested.

Five minutes in, my brain was just a frantic PowerPoint presentation of every undone chore, forgotten email, and questionable life choice I've ever made.

I was at the post office sending a package,

but I didn't just mail it, I 'released it into the universe, letting go of the past and embracing the uncertainty of its journey, as the soundtrack of my life swelled in the background'.