I've learned that marriage is all about finding creative ways to ask for permission

like, 'Honey, can I turn the thermostat down?' is actually just code for 'Can I still be in charge of something?'

My wife and I share a bathroom, and after all these years, I've finally figured out her beauty routine.

It involves 27 different bottles and precisely 3 square inches of counter space for my toothbrush.

We told our families we wanted a simple, stress-free wedding.

They responded by submitting a combined 15-page document outlining their 'gentle suggestions' and 'absolute requirements.'

I asked the groom how he knew the bride was the one for him

He said, 'She's the only person who doesn't mind that I'm still a work in progress, and by that, I mean she's agreed to be my editor for the next 50 years.'