Why did the music teacher need a ladder?

To reach the high notes.

Did you hear about the restaurant on the moon?

Great food, no atmosphere.

Why did the calendar get invited to all the parties?

Because it had so many dates!

So I was at the beach with my kids, and we saw a guy selling shells. He had all sorts of shells, from big conch shells to tiny clam shells. My kid asked him how he managed to collect so many

and he said it was a shell of a job!