Why did the cookie go to the doctor?

Because it was feeling crummy.

What do you call a dog that does magic tricks?

A Labracadabrador!

My dog is a terrible poker player because he always shows his paws.

My son was reading a book about volcanoes, and he came across a really interesting fact about how they erupt. He asked me if I knew how volcanoes tell secrets.

I told him they usually 'lava' to tell the truth.