Our manager said we're a family here, which is why

I'm waiting for my yearly performance review to find out if I'm getting disowned or not

I finally achieved financial stability.

Now I can afford the premium subscription to my anxiety app.

I told my therapist I was having trouble committing to consistent routines because of my disorganized attachment style.

She just sighed and said, 'So you're saying you're disorganized?'

I asked my manager if I could stop coming to meetings that could've been emails

and they said 'but then you'd miss out on the synergy and collaboration... and also your paycheck'