I just got a raise, but it's basically just an inflation adjustment

So now I can afford last year's lifestyle, congratulations to me

I told my therapist I was having trouble with self-regulation, so she gave me a mood journal to track my emotions.

Now my anxiety just has a very organized to-do list.

My boomer parents told me to invest in real estate.

Now my single houseplant counts as my entire property portfolio.

I've been trying to practice self-compassion in therapy

but it's hard when my inner critic has a stronger Twitter presence than my inner peace