My therapist told me I need to learn to 'sit with my feelings.'

So I rearranged my entire apartment and alphabetized my spice rack instead.

Our CEO sent a company-wide email saying we should all be grateful to be working 60-hour weeks

because 'burnout is just a state of mind'

I asked my boomer friend for investment advice

He told me to buy a house, I told him I'd rather buy a Lambo, at least then I'd have a vehicle to sleep in

I've been trying to save up for a down payment on a house

but at this point, I'm just trying to afford the therapy sessions to deal with the fact that I'll never own a house