My dad's garage is so organized,

he can find a screw from 1987 faster than I can find my phone in my room.

My dad's idea of retail therapy...

...is walking through the hardware store, picking up random bolts and muttering, 'I'll need this someday.'

My dad always keeps the house so cold, you need a parka to grab a snack.

So for Father's Day, I got him a blanket, and when he shivered and said, 'I'm cold,' I replied, 'Hi Cold, I'm Dad!'

I asked my dad what he wanted for Father's Day.

He said, 'Just the perfect articulating ladder so I can finally reach that one spot on the gutters I've been meaning to fix since last spring.'