I matched with a girl on Tinder who said she was 'fluid' in her sexuality.

I thought, great, someone who finally understands my problem with premature ejaculation.

My girlfriend told me she wanted to grow some herbs in the garden.

I told her I was more into deep rooting and extensive ground cover.

My girlfriend told me she wanted me to be more passionate and put more effort into our sex life.

I told her, 'Baby, I'm putting in all the effort *I've got*. You want more, you gotta start paying me.'

My date told me she loved a man who could really handle his tools, get down and dirty, and wasn't afraid to get his hands on some really tough nuts.

She just needed help fixing her car engine.