My dad always keeps the house so cold, you need a parka to grab a snack.

So for Father's Day, I got him a blanket, and when he shivered and said, 'I'm cold,' I replied, 'Hi Cold, I'm Dad!'

For Father's Day, I got my dad a brand new smart thermostat.

He thanked me, then spent the rest of the day setting it to the exact same temperature it was before, just with more authority.

My dad's idea of retirement is

spending 40 hours a week in the garage, but now he's getting paid in satisfaction instead of a paycheck.

My dad said he didn't need anything for Father's Day this year.

But I know he'd be thrilled if someone just found that obscure Allen wrench he swore he lost 'right after he finished assembling that bookshelf in 2017.'