My dad said all he wanted for Father's Day was peace and quiet.

So I just let him mow the lawn in silence, because apparently, that's his version of a meditation retreat.

I wanted to get my dad the perfect Father's Day gift this year.

So I just subtly moved his favorite wrench one slot over in his toolbox. He'll be happily perplexed for hours.

My dad's Father's Day tradition is

spending the whole day in the garage, not because he's working on a project, but because it's the one place where mom can't find him to give him a honey-do list.

My dad said he didn't need a thing for Father's Day this year.

But then he added, 'Unless you happen to know where my *other* tape measure is. The good one.'