I caught my dad talking to the thermostat again

I guess you could say he's trying to have a degree of control over the conversation

On Father's Day, I decided to give my dad the gift of a personalized photo album filled with pictures of his grandkids.

As he flipped through the pages, he got teary-eyed and said, 'This is the best gift I've ever received – mainly because it's the only thing they've ever made that doesn't have glue on it.'

I wanted to get my dad the perfect Father's Day gift this year.

So I just subtly moved his favorite wrench one slot over in his toolbox. He'll be happily perplexed for hours.

My dad's idea of retirement is

having enough time to finish all the projects he's been putting off until the weekend