My financial advisor told me I really needed to diversify my assets.

I told him, 'Don't worry, I already have a very well-rounded portfolio.'

I've been dating a girl who's a talented architect, and she's always trying to design the perfect bedroom

But honestly, I think she's just trying to build a case for why I'm always on top

I told my date I was a master of seduction and could make any woman swoon.

She just laughed and said I was just a bass player.

I've been taking pottery classes, and my instructor says I have a natural talent...

...for getting my hands deep into the clay and making it spin just right.