I've been dating a girl who's a professional cartographer, and she's always trying to map out our love life.

But honestly, I'm just trying to find the point of no return.

I've been dating a professional librarian, and she's been teaching me about the importance of cataloging and shelving our desires.

But it turns out, her favorite position is still 'between the stacks'.

I've been taking private lessons from a professional fencer, and she's been teaching me about the importance of parrying and riposting in a tight spot.

Now I can finally score without getting caught off guard.

I've been dating a professional upholsterer, and she's been teaching me how to reupholster our love life.

Now we're stitching together a strong relationship, one layer at a time, and it's getting deeper with every seam.