Why did the man get fired from the sperm bank?

He kept eating the samples.

My boss told me I need to stop coming up short on my deadlines.

I told him, 'At least I'm not the one coming early.'

My piano teacher told me I needed to work on my fingering.

I said, "I'm trying, but not on a keyboard."

Why did the escort bring a ladder on her date?

She wanted to take things to the next level.