I've been taking cooking classes with a professional pastry chef, and she's been teaching me about the importance of beating, whipping, and creaming to get the perfect rise.

I've been dating a botanist, and she's been teaching me about the art of cultivation.

Apparently, I've been nurturing a weed.

I've been taking private dance lessons from a beautiful instructor, and she's been teaching me how to grind with precision, really thrust my hips, and make every move count.

Now I'm finally comfortable with my body and can tango in front of my family.

I told my girlfriend she was amazing in bed, and she asked me to be more specific.

So I said, 'You're great at hiding the evidence, but sometimes I feel like I'm the one being investigated.'