My therapist said I need to validate my own emotions.

So my emotions validated that I needed another nap.

My manager told us to 'embrace the chaos.'

Which I quickly translated to: 'we're understaffed and you're not getting a raise.'

I've been trying to afford a house in my area

but the only thing I can afford is a timeshare in my parents' basement

My boomer parents told me the secret to success was to 'pull myself up by my bootstraps.'

I'm still trying to find a pair of boots I can afford.