Thanksgiving dinner at my house is like a science experiment

because we're never quite sure what's going to explode first, the turkey or my aunt's opinions

I told the turkey to come to the table with an attitude adjustment

but it was a little fowl-tempered

At our Thanksgiving, the quietest part of the evening isn't during the blessing.

It's about an hour after dinner, when everyone's successfully entered their food coma.

Alright everyone, before I start carving this magnificent bird, I just have to axe you all a quick question...

...who's ready for some delicious turkey?