I was at the grocery store, dramatically tossing items into my cart, when I caught myself

narrating my own shopping experience in a voiceover, 'She reaches for the organic quinoa, a symbol of her defiance against the mundane.'

I saw a guy's dating profile that said he's a 'free spirit' who 'lives in the moment'

But his bio was 500 words long and included a meticulously curated list of his favorite hikes and craft beers

My male colleague just got promoted for 'seeing the big picture' and being a 'strategic thinker.'

I'm still trying to figure out how to put 'remembered everyone's birthdays AND organized the entire company potluck' on my performance review.

I went on a date with a guy who said he was 'really into photography'

His camera roll was 90% selfies and 10% poorly lit meals