My 'main character energy' is so strong, I don't just 'run errands.'

I'm performing a meticulously choreographed montage of purposeful strides set to an empowering indie soundtrack, culminating in me dramatically slamming my trunk closed and driving off into the sunset, even if it's 2 PM and I'm just going home with paper towels.

I had a really important presentation at work today, and I spent hours meticulously preparing my talking points.

But the true internal panic only set in when I realized I'd forgotten my backup hair tie.

I've been trying to master the art of 'casual' texting with my crush

but it's hard when you've written and deleted the same 'hey, what's up?' 12 times

My phone just prompted me to 'Clear tabs and free up space.'

And I thought, 'Honey, if you could see the tabs open in my *brain* right now, you'd just give up and restart.'