Why did the music teacher need a ladder?

To reach the high notes.

What do you call a fake noodle?

An impasta!

I told my wife she was drawing her eyebrows too high.

She looked surprised.

So I was out in the garden trying to plant some new flowers today. I accidentally dug up a whole bunch of old potatoes that had been left in the ground from last year.

I guess you could say it was a real 'spud' awakening!