I told my wife I was going to make a belt out of bread dough.

She said, "That's a waist of good bread!"

So I was at the garden center with my kids, and we saw a beautiful display of flowers and plants. The kids were amazed by all the different colors and smells, and we started learning about the different types of blooms. I asked the gardener what his favorite flower was to grow, and he said it was

the pick of the bunch

What do you call a fake noodle?

An impasta!

Why did the man get fired from the button factory?

He kept losing his temper.