They say marriage is like a TV remote control.

In the beginning, you're both fighting for who gets to hold it. After a few years, you're fighting over who *has* to get up and find it.

We started planning our dream wedding with a modest budget and a simple guest list.

Then our parents got involved, and now we're just trying to find a second mortgage to cover the open bar.

We started planning our wedding wanting a small, intimate gathering with just our nearest and dearest.

Turns out, 'nearest and dearest' for our families includes anyone we've ever shared a holiday dinner with, plus their plus-ones, and a few neighbors who 'always asked about us.'

I've noticed that marriage is a lot like a computer update

At first, it's exciting and full of new features, but eventually, it just takes up a lot of space and sometimes freezes on you.