They say marriage is like a TV remote control.

In the beginning, you're both fighting for who gets to hold it. After a few years, you're fighting over who *has* to get up and find it.

We showed our wedding budget to our families

and now they're all planning vacations to our honeymoon destination

They say marriage is all about compromise.

Which, in our house, means I get to control the thermostat... when my wife isn't looking.

Planning our wedding seating chart felt less like arranging guests and more like a high-stakes geopolitical summit.

We spent more time on the peace treaties than on the actual vows.