My manager told us to 'embrace the chaos' of this quarter.

I'm pretty sure my embrace just gave me emotional whiplash.

I suggested replacing our daily stand-up meeting with a simple email update, but my manager said

that wouldn't be 'collaborative' – code for 'I like hearing myself talk'.

I've been working on my emotional intelligence in therapy

now I can identify at least five different ways I'm procrastinating on my therapy homework

My therapist said I need to 'regulate my nervous system.'

My nervous system said, 'Just one more TikTok.'