My parents told me to 'just pull myself up by my bootstraps.'

My boots are from Target and the straps broke two months ago.

I'm really trying to plan for the future.

My long-term plan is just to survive long enough to see the next season of whatever I'm binging.

My therapist told me I need to be more present.

So I opened a new tab on my phone to Google 'mindfulness techniques' during our session.

My boss told us, 'We're a family here.'

Then asked why I wasn't excited to work Thanksgiving.