I've got a great reason why the turkey is so relaxed this Thanksgiving

It's having a gobbler of a time, but it's stuffed with anxiety about being the main course!

Why did the cranberry sauce go to the doctor?

It was feeling a little saucy and had a relish for bad health

Alright everyone, as I get ready to carve this magnificent turkey, I just want you to know...

...I always try to stay 'ahead of the carve!'

Every Thanksgiving, my family plays a game called 'Catch Up.'

Except it's less about old times and more about catching me in the crosshairs of personal life questions.