I've been dating a girl who's a professional audiologist, and she's always trying to help me find my frequency.

But honestly, I think she's just trying to tune me out in bed.

Why did the escort bring a ladder on her date?

She wanted to take things to the next level.

I told my date I was an avid explorer.

She said, 'Oh really? So you're good at finding hidden passages and going deep into unknown territory?'

My girlfriend told me she wanted me to be more aggressive in bed, to really dominate her and make her feel things she'd never felt before.

I said, 'Honey, I'm flattered, but I'm a lover, not a chiropractor!'