He said on his dating app bio that he was 'tired of the games' and 'ready for something real.'

Then his opening message was 'You up?' with a GIF of a dog wearing sunglasses.

I finally blocked out an hour for 'self-care' last night.

I spent 15 minutes trying to find the right guided meditation on YouTube, 20 minutes wondering if my face mask was expired, and the last 25 minutes stress-cleaning my bathroom before I could relax.

I swear some guys on dating apps say they want a 'low-maintenance' woman.

But then expect her to show up looking like she just finished a photoshoot. Honey, my 'low-maintenance' look involves dry shampoo and a prayer.

I was at the grocery store, dramatically monologuing to myself about the meaning of life in the cereal aisle

when I realized I was just trying to decide between Corn Flakes and Rice Krispies