I'm trying to be more spontaneous in my dating life.

Last week, I spent three hours spontaneously overthinking whether I should text him back immediately or wait a strategic 23 minutes.

My car made a weird noise this morning, and I immediately knew I needed to get it looked at.

But before I could even *think* about calling the mechanic, I had to Google 'weird car noises women need to know about,' then 'how to sound like I know what I'm talking about to a mechanic,' and finally 'what to wear so they don't try to upsell me on blinker fluid.'

I've started to think that my wardrobe is 90% clothes I've kept because they still have the tags on

and 10% clothes I've actually worn, but I'm holding onto the tags as proof that I didn't just buy them to impress myself

I was running errands the other day

and I narrated my entire trip to the post office in a David Attenborough voice, because even mailing a package can be a wildlife documentary if you commit to it