This guy's dating app bio said he was a 'hopeless romantic.'

Turns out, he was just hopeless at romance, because his big move was sending me a TikTok on 'how to make her obsessed with you.'

He said he was looking for a woman with her own ambitions, her own life, someone who 'doesn't need constant attention.'

Then he called me 'busy' because I didn't immediately respond to his 'hey' at 11:30 AM on a workday.

My coffee machine decided to stop working this morning.

So, I stood there, dramatically caressed the cold metal, and delivered a five-minute monologue to it about betrayal, loss, and the cruel indifference of a world without caffeine, as if I were starring in a prestige drama.

I've noticed that guys on dating apps love to say they're 'foodies'

but their idea of 'fine dining' is just eating a whole pizza by themselves