I told my wife she was drawing her eyebrows too high.

She looked surprised.

Why did the scarecrow win an award?

Because he was outstanding in his field!

I'm having a grape time at the wine festival, it's a crushing experience.

So I was at the coffee shop this morning, and the barista accidentally spilled some coffee all over the counter. He looked really flustered and apologized profusely.

I told him not to worry, because sometimes you just gotta *espresso* yourself.