We hired a wedding planner to help us stay organized and on budget.

Now we just need to hire a therapist to deal with the wedding planner.

We told our families we wanted a simple, stress-free wedding.

They responded by submitting a combined 15-page document outlining their 'gentle suggestions' and 'absolute requirements.'

We set a wedding budget.

Then we realized that budget was just for the napkins.

On our first date, I meticulously planned every detail, ironed my best shirt, and practiced witty banter.

Now, for 'date night' at home, my main concern is whether these sweatpants have enough elasticity left for a second helping of pizza.