My wife and I used to have long, romantic conversations every night when we were dating.

Now, our deepest late-night discussions usually revolve around whose turn it is to start the dishwasher.

When my wife and I were dating, she used to say I was such a great listener, I'd often finish her sentences.

Now, I just finish her snacks.

When we were dating, my husband would surprise me with flowers and thoughtful gifts.

Now, I consider it a romantic gesture if he just remembers to put his dirty clothes *in* the hamper.

I thought I knew my family well before planning our wedding.

Turns out, some relatives are like volatile chemicals; best kept in separate containers on the seating chart.